I am in no way an expert on the use of duct tape or parenting, but this blog is about a little of both. I was told to write this blog. Not by God, He keeps up with my thoughts the normal way (via Facebook) but by a friend who said that she wanted to be able to see in a more linear and outlined way the random sagacity that streams through my mind, particularly on parenting for some reason...
The kid got dunked today! I was led to believe this would result in his being much more mild tempered, angelic even, with no more screaming cries or diapers that contain an explosion of evil or loud burps in church. I was lied to on all counts. Granted I was the one who came up with those ideas and was telling myself this, but you think I could trust myself! I'm such a liar. The kid did all three in the course of his Baptism. Here's a play by play, with some explanation for the nonodox out there.
Well here's the post I promised you here, but without the promised content. See, we ended up not going on the Youth Retreat because of, to borrow a phrase, a series of unfortunate events and the fact that we had a ton of stuff to do. Stuff I'm going to tell you about now! Starting with last Sunday's dinner, because it was beautiful and needed to be shared.
Yes, our little chubbers will be getting dunked tomorrow. That's what the baklava is for. Well not for the actual baptism, Orthodox do not actually baptize using olive oil and honey (I was surprised too) but for the min-reception thingy tomorrow after. The baklava is Lenten, the cake will not be.
We've been really busy these past few weeks with driving. Up and down California for family Christmases, all before we even celebrate Christmas! Our celebration of Christmas is on January 7th, but this is sort of nice because we get a lot of the gift giving and familial Christmases out of the way, and we have time to really enjoy and spiritually prepare for the Nativity of Christ.
Christmas with us starts for Advent, a time of fasting and prayer, but not as strict as the Lent before Pascha. We do an Advent wreath, and finally got it set up:
Yes, that is what happened to the St. Lucia Day crown...
But it took us a while to get the rest of our decorations up. First we had to go down for the Big Family Christmas with all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
And no, this is still not everyone. This is just everyone who could *make it*
The proximity of everyone and routine with which we get together always confused me when I was asked about my 'immediate' family.
We had a good time seeing everyone. My cousins hosted:
You need a big tree for a big family.
This being only one of the tables set up...
And this is the means by which we are eventually going to conquer....
Of course, Athanasius was everywhere:
Attempting to have some sherry, apparently.
And treating furniture as a jungle gym.
We came back up to Fresno, then almost immediately went back down for Christmas with just my parents and siblings. Packaged up our biggest gift this year:
This really opened my eyes to the pointlessness of cribs.
And he had fun opening more presents:
In his new "Dennis the Menace" outfit, which was a gift from my grandparents
I got a cast iron tea set for Christmas, from my sister, which is awesome, but my niece felt she had to make it 'pretty'
Luckily her brother got a magnet set
We came back up to Fresno for a night, with just enough time after the kid fell asleep to enjoy this:
One of my favorite traditions
And then drove up north to see OrthoMom's grandparents!
Quite a bit of room to crawl around.
And he was very intrigued by Great-Grandpa's cane. You can see it stashed away up there.
He had a good time, methinks.
Even if it took an act of Congress to get him to sleep! Too many interesting things to see.
Back down to Fresno in time for Church...
Ha, he looks Amish.
And to finally put up our own decorations!
With, of course, a little elf to "help"
OrthoMom is dying to know what's in that big silver box.
And so we're getting closer to the day when Christ was born, and today getting closer to the New Year. We hope everyone had a great Christmas, or will have, depending on your calendar, and that you all get to enjoy the entire Christmas season (which is still ongoing!).
I can only imagine our spawn's thoughts this morning.
"Why is mommy's head on fire? What is that smell? You guys see this, right? Her head is on fire. Oh, they got out the tea set. But that doesn't smell like tea. What are those yellow buns? Wait, why are they singing before eating breakfast? WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
Well what's going on is the Feast of St. Lucy, or St. Lucia, or Santa Lucia depending on how multicultural you want to be. A lot of Orthodox don't celebrate this feast day, but it's a good Norse holiday (big in Sweden), which is Germanish, and I've celebrated it for years, and she is an Orthodox saint, so rock on.
Years later a famine in Sweden ended when a boat arrived, guided by a girl glowing with an unearthly light, carrying sacks of wheat. It was St. Lucy, and ever since the Swedes honor her by making buns called "Lucy Cats" (no idea why) and having coffee, and the oldest girl in the house is supposed to serve breakfast while wearing a crown of candles and lingonberry leaves.
The oldest girl in our home is OrthoMom, so...
On St. Lucia the "Lucy Bride" wears white to honor St. Lucy's vow of virginity, and red to honor her martyrdom.
Yes, that is her wedding dress. The only white dress she had. Foxy.
In case others are wondering how you make such a crown, you start by buying a white foam circle, candles, and pilfering a bunch of what look like lingonberry-ish leaves from your front apartment complex the night before. This is how we attached them, after a lot of trial and error with puncturing the foam, staples, and glue:
Contemporary holiness. How they used to do it I have no idea.
One day our daughters will take over this, but for now our only child seemed shocked by the whole thing:
Her. Head. Is. On. FIRE! Am I the only one seeing this?
Breakfast is traditionally Lucy Cats, a type of saffron bun which is delicious and we made the night before, and coffee, which we don't normally drink. We're a tea family. But tradition is tradition, and Lucy Cats go really well with coffee.
I can't figure out how to turn the picture. Turn your head instead.
Before we eat we sing this song (they're singing it in Swedish, I'll put the English lyrics below:
"Night treads with heavy step,
Round yard and hearth,
Woods brood in darkness now,
Sun's gone from Earth.
But through the darkness comes,
With brightness glowing,
Saint of the heavenly light,
Our Saviour showing!
(Chorus)
Maiden so sweet and fair,
Bright candles in your hair,
Santa Lucia,
Santa Lucia!
Child of the Holy Light
Banish the dark of night!
Santa Lucia,
Santa Lucia!
Night now goes great and mute,
Silence rules all things.
What is that murmuring,
As of an angel's wings?
There on our threshold
White robed and shining,
Comes she with bread to spare,
Our need divining.
(Chorus)
Darkness shall soon depart,
From vale and mountain.
She brings good news to us
Light like a fountain!
Soon day shall rise anew
Daystar is coming!
In skies of rosy hue,
Salvation's dawning!
(Chorus)
And that's St. Lucy day! We take a break from the Nativity Fast for today. Lucy Cats aren't terribly lenten, but they're very good. Another tradition is to share them with others, so we take some to the manager of the apartment, and are willing to share with anyone who might want to drop by today!
One more, because she's so pretty.
As for the rest of the week, Athanasius has a new fun game. He sits on Daddy's legs. Or feet. He does this because sometimes I lift him up or jiggle him.
He's blurry because of the jiggling, you see.
He's up to three teeth now, the doctor says he thinks the fourth will break forth (ha!) any day now. There's a pretty large bulge on his top gum, so yeah, Sharkbait will probably have another muncher any day now.
Which he finds appealing.
He's getting harder to get clear shots of too - he's so fidgety.
This being the season of showing everyone what you've done in the past year, we were trying to take a nice photo of our family. This was specifically as requested by my in-laws for their Christmas letter, and finally got one:
Aren't we just perfectly Stepford.
But not before this nonsense, which is perhaps more descriptive of our family life:
That baby face is hilarious.
This one I just call "The Truth"
But for now, we hope everyone has a very holy and blessed St. Lucy day. The song is very pretty and simple if you didn't listen to it. Having gotten up early for his Lucy Cat flavored milk breakfast, our spawn is gonna conk out, the lamb next to the demon.
If anybody wants the cat, she's generally well behaved except she's annoying as all get out. A great new pet!
Hello again, to all my friends! I'm glad you came to play...
You might be a parent if you get that reference.
Anyway, today is the Feast of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, Bishop of Myra! Now, December 6th is his birthday on the New Calendar. Not too many people are familiar with this, so here's a brief explanation. Feel free to skip if you get it:
Before 1582 everyone used what was called the Julian Calendar. That was all hunky dory, but the math is a bit off. Don't ask me how to explain this stuff, all I know is "the Gregorian calendar is more accurate." Well in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII changed the calendar of the Roman Catholic Church to this more accurate calendar. There was something to do with the date of Easter too. Anyway, because a Pope declared it only the Roman Catholic countries followed. All the Protestant and Orthodox countries stayed on the Julian, but slowly over time every government capitulated because of needing a standard international calendar, and the Gregorian won everyone over. Greece only changed in 1923 if you can believe it.
At any rate the Julian, being 'less accurate' is now 13 days behind the Gregorian. So today, by the "Old Calendar" or "Church Calendar" is not December 6th but November 23rd. That is why Christmas is on January 7th for us and the Christmas Season doesn't end until January 19th!
At any rate, here in OrthoFamily we celebrate it on the New Calendar (what the Orthodox call the Gregorian, because anything less than a thousand years old is terribly contemporary) because it's easier to space out the celebrations. They cluster all around December 25th if you celebrate by the Old.
This is one of our favorite holidays. So, without further adieu, how to celebrate St. Nicholas Day:
Step 1) The night before, clean the house. This probably has more to do with my own OCD than with any tradition.
Step 2) Tell your child the story of St. Nicholas (several versions found here) while he waits for him to come:
This is done with much winking and nudging.
Step 3) Promise your wife you won't, in the future, tell your spawn the part of the story where St. Nicholas resurrects three children who have been murdered and hacked into pieces by a butcher to be sold as meat. Apparently she'd never heard that part before.
OrthoDad laps are known for being the best seat to listen to stories.
Step 4) Mix up the batter for speculaas - a sort of spice cookie that's not as strong as gingerbread. I like it much more. It has to chill overnight.
Step 5) Ramp up the excitement (still the day before) with Christmas movies and hiding presents to fill stockings later.
Our Spiritual Spawn, but she was very happy.
Step 6) Hang the stockings with care:
Due diligence must be given to the care with which one does this.
Step 7) Wait.
You awake the next morning to this beautiful sight:
The St. Nicholas Icon was moved to our Icon wall.
You attempt to teach your kid that his Christmas ornament is in his stocking.
He will try to eat it.
Also, we don't know why he goes and sits in that basket all the time. He loves it.
Anyway the big rule on St. Nicholas day is you have to have chocolate for breakfast. We had hot cocoa and OrthoMom ate some of her chocolate orange from her stocking. I ate dove chocolates. I'm suddenly realizing why I might be hungry.
Then, of course, carols:
Prodigy.
Finally, while the kid sleeps off the excitement after hearing one of the books he got...
He is now awake and making this update last twice as long to write...
OrthoDad can get some speculaas dough in the oven! Here's the recipe (at the bottom of the page) if anyone would like it. Delicious, not too sweet, spicy but very light tasting. If you're lucky enough to have a very talented sister, you might even get a homemade cookie stamp to use!
Yes, creative genius runs in the family.
So we hope everyone has a very blessed Holiday season, and a joyful St. Nicholas Day!
Ok, yes, I'm only updating on holidays, but really, I don't think you guys are so interested in our day to day lives where we go to work, school, and get our diaper changed (depending on which family member you are). So yeah, updates are far more likely after a celebration. Lucky for anybody who loves the chubby cheeks of the family prince, I think almost every weekend from her to Nativity has some feast.
Also, some of these pictures are probably duplicates from when OrthoMom got annoyed at how little I update and so loaded them all up to Facebook. I, however, don't know which ones and you didn't get to see my witty commentary on them, which is really what you come for anyway, so let's plow through the last few weeks at chez moi.
We thought his legs had disappeared for the whole afternoon.
Spawn-osaurus turned 8 months old on the 18th. He now takes wobbly steps. By step"s" I mean a single step at multiple points in time. Ambulatory leg movement is beyond him, but it's fun to watch him look like Cotton Hill.
The only ball he has to play with, and it's actually a dryer ball.
With Thanksgiving on the menu we've been trying more solid foods. He's having very little of it.
But he's still big on tubs.
He's going through a very clingy stage, especially with his mother. That's just a blast.
I'm a mattress, and that's pretty much it.
So Thanksgiving! Our parish did the Akathist of Thanksgiving the day before at four, which was awesome because it meant we had time to go before needing to be on the road. It's only about an hour to my parents house where we spent the day with a lot of food:
I probably should've removed the foil...the big one closest is some rabbit that my brother-in-law shot, and then some sweet potato casserole.
We cooked the turkey upside down, which you pretty much have to do to get a really moist turkey if it's over 16 lbs in my opinion. Opa did the honors, of course:
I'm a white meat man, myself.
And all the food was thouroughly enjoyed by this army of goblins:
Attempting to get a shot of them all looking at the camera and smiling ended very quickly.
Two of the grandkids had to sit out, because they don't eat solids, but I've just realized I don't have a photo of Caroline. Here's the other hold out though, who did gnaw on some turkey at some point.
He too was preparing for Black Friday, as can be seen with his choice of toy.
So full of pumpkin pie and parade we all took naps, of course...
His cheek looks large enough to be settled lol.
And then this afternoon OrthoMom and I went out shopping. I got new shoes! And a pair of jeans. Here's a shocker too: OrthoMom got jeans too! She's wearing them right now, and she looks FOINE!
Anyway, now begins the Christmas Season. Advent began yesterday for us, but upcoming we have St. Nicholas Day, St. Lucy Day, Christmas, of course, Nativity (which we distinguish from Christmas for clarity sake, as we do with Easter and Pascha) and my Name Day (w00t!) and Theophany. Much to look forward to! Adieu, mes amis!
So last time y'all tuned in it was Halloween. Today, by which I mean a week ago, was Friendsgiving!
The table was set with this amount of food for the past week.
I have to say I'm pretty proud of my turkey:
No basting, and I have been told by several people that it was the most moist turkey ever. Alton Brown doesn't steer his bros wrong.
So we had good food. Today the turkey carcass will be turned into broth which will season the stuffing at Thanksgiving in a few weeks, where we'll be watching the REAL Thanksgiving parade and not settling for a Netflix-available Peanuts Presents the story of the Mayflower or some such nonsense.
Yes, it was that boring.
Spawn is now doing what OrthoMom calls "cruising" which apparently means "sideways walking around the coffee table." He's also standing for longer periods. Imagine the music from 2001, A Space Odyssey to this to really get the effect.
Bum...bum...
Ba-BUM!
Epic.
He's also coming into his own style, for which we're really proud.
Of course, it was expected that he'd go for Daddy's bag someday, but this early? That really shows signs of advanced taste.
And his selection of this jacket is inspired, as is pairing it with his own version of La Tigra Blue Steel.
But usually he prefers a more casual, preppy look.
He'll be lecturing Mommy about her jean skirt/t-shirt combos any day now.
I know, Buddy. I know.
Fashion faux-pas which amount to baptism into a Oneness Pentecostal church aside, OrthoFamily is doing well. Athanasius still enjoys the occasional apparent drug trip with his Godsister.
Munchies certainly would explain those chins.
And last night we discovered that a tight swaddle in a fake fur blanket will calm the kid down for several hours.
It started as a joke, but hey, if it quiets the spawn, go with it.
So, until next time, stay strong out there, y'all. It's a scary world.
I'm a guy who converted to Orthodoxy in 2011. Later that year I met the girl of my dreams (at a Greek festival of course) and we got married in 2012. First comes love, then comes marriage, and sure enough, my wife and I welcomed our first child, Athanasius, in March of 2013.
